Far From Heaven
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Adiago J Velvet's LiveJournal:
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| Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 | | 4:33 am |
This town has changed me. I'm not sure what it is. For the first time in years I can hear my cards calling me. I know that statement wont make sense to most of you but the ones it does make sense to, something has changed. Have I reconnected? I spent so long searching for myself, have I finally found me again. I dont know. Everything is so strange. This city I live in is not like any place I have been before. Strange sprits wander freely through these mountins. Even in these lowlands there are things that defy explination. I hve done my reading and I expect it to be correct. I will know soon enough what it means. Don't mean to get all freaky - spooky on everyone, but things have changed. The open road unwinds before me, an onyx ribbon spreading out, No idea where I'll be going, sometimes the journy is what counts. | | Friday, March 10th, 2006 | | 9:43 am |
long week
i moved in the von's, which is awesome. its so quiet here, i love it. and my room has its own half-bath. the game I'm working on entered its first semi-public alpha (www.shoresofglory.com) and things are looking good with that. I met this guy who I have become really good friends with, who it turns out is the son of Melanie and Steve Rasnic Tem (a couple of really good Sci Fi writers, look em up on google, there work is golden), and I have become a part of the 'wheresgeorge' project (www.wheresgeorge.com) which is sort of a freelance money tracking project. all that, plus the chaos I deal with on a daily basis at my day job, plus the fact I have another 10 hour shift before my first day off this week leads to a long week indeed. I did get to talkm to heather on my last day off which rocked, she seems to be doing well, and busy as always of course. I hope this week ends all well as it seems to be gong now... | | Saturday, December 31st, 2005 | | 2:58 pm |
Well, its official. I didn't want to get to excited until I found out for sure, but I'm officially on the Day of Defeat: Source - Pacific Theatre Development Team. For those that don't know what I'm talking about, Day of Defeat: Source is a game owned by Valve software using the Half-Life 2 engine and based in Europe During WWII. DoD:S Pacific Theatre is naturally the Pacific Theatre version of that currently in development. DODPacific.comHappy New Years folks. You have no idea how much I wish I was there with you. | | Sunday, December 25th, 2005 | | 12:24 pm |
wow high desert for the win. its like 65 here and even the mountins behind my house are clear of snow caps. this is freakin crazy. | | Wednesday, November 30th, 2005 | | 3:35 pm |
| | Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 | | 12:15 am |
Spaceship Denver...
Well, its been a week since the elections here, and I've been watching very carefully for one law that got passed to get repealed, or start a court case, or have the federal goverment stick thier nose in as they do so often, but nothing has happened. SO... In accordance with my theory that this city is not actually part of planet earth, Its now leagal in Denver to posses up to an ounce of weed if you are 21 or over. Carry it in the open, wave it at a cop, pin it to your shirt if you feel the need, becuase you can't get busted for it. It passed something like 60% to 40%. Unbelievable... | | Sunday, October 16th, 2005 | | 2:30 am |
My hipocracy knows no bounds...  | You scored as Angel. Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.
Angel | | 84% | Faerie | | 75% | WereWolf | | 67% | Mermaid | | 67% | Demon | | 42% | Dragon | | 34% | </td>
What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!) created with QuizFarm.com | | | Friday, October 7th, 2005 | | 9:48 am |
We made it to Denver. Driving for the long gives one a lot of time to think about things and here is what I came up with on the way here. I figure there are a nearly infinate number of stars in the universe, and an infinate number of planets that orbit them. Since not every planet has life on it, there is a finite number of inhabited planets, and therefore a finate number of lifeforms in the universe. Since any finite number divided by infinity is far less then 1, the average population of the universe is not even one person. Therefore I cannot exist, and since I am at the center of my own universe, none of you can exist either. SO before you all wink out of existance, I just thought you'd like to know I made it to Denver ok. later, J | | Sunday, October 2nd, 2005 | | 3:30 am |
Shadowland...
On the eve of my trip to Colorado, there is something I'd like to say to all of you. Thank you. You guys were the family when I had none. I grew up with you, and next to you. I have seen what you have dealt with, and how you dealt with it. I call you all sisters and brothers, friends and family. I have seen your actons in the face of adversity, and I am a better man for it. It has always been an honor to know all of you. This isn't a goodbye by any means. I'll be in contact and I'm sure Ill be back in D-Town soon enough to visit. I just wanted to let you all know, I hold you all in the highest reguard. If it wern't for your guidance I would have never made it through. So long and thanks for all the fish, James | | Friday, September 2nd, 2005 | | 11:35 am |
Gee is it that obvious?  | You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you want to know hwo you will commit suicide, take a look at your second highest percentage on the bar graphs.
Suicide | | 100% | Disappear | | 93% | Gunshot | | 80% | Bomb | | 67% | Suffocated | | 67% | Disease | | 60% | Stabbed | | 60% | Posion | | 53% | Cut Throat | | 40% | Drowning | | 40% | Accident | | 20% | Eaten | | 20% | Natural Causes | | 7% | </td>
How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com |
I've been in a pretty dark place right now, but not quite this dark yet. | | Thursday, September 1st, 2005 | | 7:50 pm |
A friend of mine sent me some of the funniest sayings/pics ever to brighten my day. I decided to repost them here for anyone that needs a good laugh. see em ( here ). this last one is cleverly funny.  enjoy. | | Monday, August 29th, 2005 | | 2:16 am |
Frighteningly accurate...
Thats so on its creepy.
The Keys to Your Heart
|
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
| | Thursday, August 25th, 2005 | | 8:45 pm |
Well Im back up in D-Town. Im thinking of hitting one of the clubs this weekend, anyone else going anywhere? | | 8:43 pm |
 | You scored as Hartigan. You are Hartigan. You expect a lot from yourself. You want to do what is right, but if you don't succeed you can be very hard on youself. When things seem grim, litte things keep you going such as letters or gestures from others. A strong believer in justice, you always keep your values. Continue to make the most of your life, but make sure to ease up on yourself a little.
Hartigan | | 85% | Dwight | | 78% | Marv | | 65% | Nancy | | 58% | Yellow bastard. | | 55% | Gail | | 55% | Jackie Boy | | 50% | Becky | | 40% | Shellie | | 40% | </td>
Which Sin City character are you (new version)? created with QuizFarm.com | | | 10:16 am |
| | Wednesday, August 24th, 2005 | | 5:52 pm |
Dead on lol.
Thats the best thing Ive seen all week.
Current Mood: amused | | Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005 | | 11:29 am |
| | Thursday, August 18th, 2005 | | 10:48 pm |
So out of touch.
Well, Im still stuck down in monroe. Looks like Im going to be here for another week. There are a lot of people (both friends and family) down here I want to hang out with once more before I leave anyways. Plus, there is a lot of stuff I have to get ready and/or go through before I head out. If anyone talks to Owen (Kung Fu Owen) please tell him I havnt forgot about editing his film, but I am literaly stuck down here, and that Ill call him as soon as I can. My phone battery died, and I just got a new charger today ( i don't have a clue where my old charger went, and my spare is still up in D-Town at robs. So if anyone has tried to call and I havn't answered or gotten back to you this is why. Im just gonna take this chance to tell everyone a quick hello, and see you all soon. I have to say Ive have been bored as hell down here for the most part, but at least I can get a lot of Viola practice in before I have to give it back. (Thanks again Heather). Ok, talk to you all later peeps. J | | Saturday, August 13th, 2005 | | 12:30 pm |
Yeah, Yeah, Dont even say it. I already know what your thinking. "I thought you said you arntgoing to post anymore. Well, I changed my mind, but i think from now on, Ill try and post more upbeat stuff. Lets see here, what has happened on planet James this week... I went out to the Monroe County Fair (I get in free passes every year, and I hate to see them go to waste). Most times this yearly routine is uneventful, but this time was one was differant. Not even ten minutes after I Entered the fair grounds I ran smack in to heather (my ex-wife) and her boy-toy (the guy who is currently enjoying my wife (Sarcasm). Lucky for me thatI have the ability to seperate my feelings for her, from my friendship with her, as not to let Jeleusy show its ugly face when we all hang out togeather. So long story short, We exchanged hello's, Talked for a few mins and then started back on our seperate ways. I spent most of not all of last week at my friend fyfe's house. It only figured that I forgot to bring my wireless router, so I had to spend the entire week with no internet. It was kind of relaxing. The rest of the week was uneventful. I still need to but a box togeather to edit owens seminar tapes. Which reminds me, I REALLY need to start going to Kung Fu practice on a regular basis. I swear thom sometimes I think the world conspiring me to miss practice I think starting monday Im going to force myself to start going on a regular basis. I hope owen will still train me. And thats about it. Or at least all of it I can remember. (when Im up for more then 24 hours I get a little loopy). Oh yeah, and I havw practicing the heck out of heather viola. It almost doesnt sounds like a dying animal Till later, James WooHoo Its Zombie-tastic. Zombagedden If you will. Current Mood: drained | | Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 | | 6:19 am |
Sometimes the journy is what counts,
Sometimes it strikes me strange what, seemingly insignificant, actions can give a person the strength to carry on when they are at thier lowest. Pat called me from Colorado last night just to talk, and even though we didn't talk long it made me smile. I don't smile much these days, and anything that makes me do so holds fast in my heart. I wish I had the strength that he has to carry on. I'm honored to be able to call him a brother, and I'm lucky that he shares that strength so willingly. I'm lucky to have all of you as friends. You will probably never know how much all of you mean to me. I just wish I had the power to tell people in person. When I'm in a face to face situation I always fall in to a facade where I say everything is ok, and that I'm doing fine, etc. The truth is, I'm not fine. I feel like I'm in hell. I've lost my strength, I have lost my will, the only thing I have left is my tenacity, like a wounded tiger that doesn't know when to quit. Many years ago, someone tought me to live by a code of conduct. That code used to give me strength, but now it just rips me apart. I'm still in love with my ex-wife, but I know now that she is never coming back. I could set in action a course of events to bring her back, but my code will not allow me to do so. She is happy, her new boyfriend is a great guy, and her life is going great. I will not interupt someone elses happiness for selfish reasons. The hurt never goes away though. When I had moved out of Detroit and cleaned up my act a few years ago, it was the idea that there might still be a chance for us to reunite that gave me the strength to carry on. My love for her gave me the ability to move mountins, to literaly fight off death itself just for a second chance. I have since lost that hope. I just can't believe that I went through all the suffering and pain I had to go through just to become the person I though she deserved, only to find out that it was all in vain. If you can't tell, I have also lost my faith. What kind of god makes a man fight for something so hard, only to find out that what he has been fighting for is nothing but so much vapor. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to do anything stupid. Its not in my nature, and its against my personal code. But,despite all my friends help, I just don't have any fight left in me. Of all the crazy shit I have been through, it just figures that the thing that has destroyed me was the love of a woman. I expect this will be one of my last LJ posts, if not my last one. LJ has lost its purpose to me. So on that note, thanks for reading. You folks are the best. Guess I'll see you around. Goodbye, James |
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